Be Sexually Active, With Pornography!

What prevents a woman from fully living her sexuality?

The primary complaint women make, related to sexuality, is low sexual desire.

Little interest in initiating a sexual relationship can be related to physiological issues; there are several diseases and medications that decrease sexual desire. But, as the definition of sexuality illustrates, biological factors are just as likely a cause. Psychological, social, cultural and religious influences can generate low sexual desire.

Dr. Carolina Ambrogini, a OB/GYN and specialist in female health and sexuality, points out that,

The main factor of a significant decrease in desire is really because the woman isn’t sexually active, in the sense of stimulating her desire. Men do this a lot. They stimulate their desire in a much more active way. They are always looking (at/for) things. Women, no. Women don’t think about sex. Women think that sexual desire will fall from the sky. [There are several reasons for this attitude.] It’s not female culture; they’re afraid of being “perverted”; sexuality is passed on to girls in a much more castrating way than it is to boys. Women don’t have a more active stance of developing their own desire. (Sexual desire) improves a lot when women change their attitudes and don’t wait for the desire to magically appear.”

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Be sexually active!

This does not require an increase in the number of your sexual partners. It does require fully understanding your sexuality, which will give you the freedom to choose when and with whom you express it. It does require…

fully expressing yourself, without restriction, without fear, without guilt.

Ah, but how?

1. Stimulate Your Mind: Pornography

stimulate-your-mind

Pornography” (or “porn”) usually refers to representations designed to arouse and give sexual pleasure to those who read, see, hear, or handle them.”[1]

Movies, erotic writing, magazines with naked models—it’s all pornography.

Compared to men, women consume less pornography, especially the visual type. But, rather than suggesting a biological distinction, this again shows the importance that external influences have on sexuality.

Léa Santana, a Brazilian researcher on gender and feminist pornography, points out in her master’s thesis that “Pornography has always been seen as a controversial subject, (seen) as a dirty way of thinking about sexual pleasure.[2]

In addition to the shame that many women feel when watching pornography, the industry does little to arouse women’s interest. Daniel Linhares points out that in pornographic films/videos, “the focus is not on showing a sexually active female figure or work on the development of her sexuality. Quite the opposite. The videos produced are, in their vast majority, degrading to women.[3]

However, you can find pornographic visual content produced by and for women. (here, for example)

Lea Santana notes that, “In McElroy’s view (1995), ‘pornography and feminism are travel companions, and natural allies,’ since both seek to deconstruct the idea that sex is necessarily linked to marriage or to procreation, and (believe) that the woman must invest in her sexuality for pleasure and self-realization.[4]

In addition to visual pornography, there is erotic writing. Fifty Shades of Gray was labeled “mommy porn”, and sold 10 million copies in the first six weeks of sale in the US[5]. It also generated controversy, in part for not having a protagonist who models authentic sexuality.

Jarid Arraes, a 25-year-old Brazilian writer, prefers classics by Hilda Hilst[6] and others, and observes that the current Brazilian market is very much influenced by the style of Fifty Shades and North American trends.

In addition to poetry, prose and cordels (type of literature most common in Northeast Brazil, similar to chapbooks), Jarid writes erotic tales. She explains that “erotic writing is any writing that expresses your sexuality. Eroticism isn’t just sex. It has a sensual aura. You can write about a sidetable in an erotic way.”

She identifies herself as a feminist, so she’s not going to write “things that have a man as the dominant of the relationship and a [submissive] woman, as if I’m repeating a script for a porn (movie). The body won’t be described according to traditional conventions, (where) it has to be thin, white. The sex itself also takes many other forms, becomes much more diverse.

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In your house, in your bedroom, there is no judgment.

Stimulate your mind! Watch. Read. If you can’t find anything to your taste, create it! Discover your way of being sexually active.

Don’t doubt your ability to develop your sexuality; it is yours, waiting to be fully lived.

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Interviewees

dra carolina ambrigoni

Dr. Carolina Ambrogini: obstetrician and gynecologist, specialist in female health and sexuality

jarid arraes

Jarid Arraes, Brazilian writer

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[1] http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/porn/etc/definition.html

[2] https://repositorio.ufba.br/ri/bitstream/ri/18873/1/Dissertacao%20de%20L%C3%A9a%20Menezes%20de%20Santana.pdf#page=21

[3] http://www.reporterunesp.jor.br/mercado-pornografico-apenas-se-feito-por-mulheres/

[4] https://repositorio.ufba.br/ri/bitstream/ri/18873/1/Dissertacao%20de%20L%C3%A9a%20Menezes%20de%20Santana.pdf#page=42

[5] http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/05/22/10-million-shades-of-green-erotic-trilogy-dominates-book-sales/?_r=0

[6] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hilda_Hilst

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Correction: December 29th, 2016

The original post incorrectly cited Pepita Ortega Martin as author of the article from Reporter UNESP. The author of the material is Daniel Linhares.